Which is funny because for three weeks now (Sunday will make 4 weeks) I have been in a great deal of pain. I have a stomach ache that is pretty much constant and I've had 3 more ATTACKS of sharp and brutal pain.
A visit to my doctor, an ultrasound, and one surgeon consult later we have decided en mass that I have gall stones and plans have been made to remove my gallbladder from my body on September 1st.
So there's that.
And somehow still, despite the pain, and the fear (how am I going to afford this surgery, how can I afford to be out of work, what if something goes wrong?) I still feel like something AMAZING is right around the corner.
Which, with me being the queen of the pessimists this cheery outlook is kind of scary.
But several times a day I still find myself things, "Something GREAT is going to happen SOON!"
I told a friend today that it may sound silly, because its a minor surgery (comparatively) but I feel like I need to look at this surgery as a good thing. As a new beginning in a way.
Because what is gall?
Well, in my body gall is bile. It is what helps digest my foods. Stored in my gall bladder and squeezed out as it is needed.
But, there is another definition of gall.
Mirriam Webster also defines gall as:
something bitter to endure
bitterness of spirit
a cause or state of exasperation
to fret and wear away by friction
There are a few more negative definitions too but you see my point.
So I can see this not only as a surgery to make the pain go away, but also as a forced diet (fatty foods will do me badly afterwards) but the physical removal of my gallbladder can be seen also as a metophorical removal of whatever biter spiritual parasite has dug into me.