I have two sons. One is 6 and one is 2. They are non-stop from the time they wake up (usually around sunup) until they go to bed (8:30 for the little one. 9 for the big one, or later if he doesn't have school the next day.)
|Even when they are sitting down they never quit moving.|
Sometimes I forget how small they are. Because they are full of unrestrained joy, exubarant energy, they explode into everything they do.
Youth is large.
But the other night as I bathed the two year old, and dried him, he was cold and clung to me shivering. I ran the towel over his shoulder and he seemed so tiny.
Because he IS tiny. He is only two. In this wild and hate filled world he is as insignificant as a dandelion puff.
I am the person who has to be big for him. I am the person who warms him when hes cold, feeds him when hes hungry, makes him better when he's sick.
I am the one who provides.
Except now, I'm not much of a provider. I've been told that after the first of the year, my job is over.
Well, not entirely over. I still have a job. Sort of. Except its not a full time job anymore. It's part time. And I'll take a pay cut too.
The CORPORATION that I've worked for the past 10 doesn't care that my family counts on me to take care of them. They don't care that I have bills to pay.
They don't care.
End of story.
So I'm not able to enjoy my holiday with my family because I'm worried.
These two insignificant dandelion puffs are counting on me to provide, and I have let them down.
They have this Christmas, but will I be able to afford to give them Christmas next year? Will we even have a HOME by this time next year?
So I've gone way out of my comfort zone and taken steps to try to save my job. Will I actually save it? Who knows. But I know that I've tried.
Because, failure to provide for my family and protect my dandelion puffs is unacceptable. And a mommy's gotta do what a mommy's gotta do.