Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Failure to Provide

I am a mom.

I have two sons.  One is 6 and one is 2.  They are non-stop from the time they wake up (usually around sunup) until they go to bed (8:30 for the little one.  9 for the big one, or later if he doesn't have school the next day.)

Even when they are sitting down they never quit moving.

Sometimes I forget how small they are.  Because they are full of unrestrained joy, exubarant energy, they explode into everything they do.

Youth is large.

But the other night as I bathed the two year old, and dried him, he was cold and clung to me shivering.  I ran the towel over his shoulder and he seemed so tiny.

Because he IS tiny.  He is only two.  In this wild and hate filled world he is as insignificant as a dandelion puff.


I am the person who has to be big for him.  I am the person who warms him when hes cold, feeds him when hes hungry, makes him better when he's sick. 

I am the one who provides.

Except now, I'm not much of a provider.  I've been told that after the first of the year, my job is over. 

Well, not entirely over.  I still have a job.  Sort of.  Except its not a full time job anymore.  It's part time.  And I'll take a pay cut too.

The CORPORATION that I've worked for the past 10 doesn't care that my family counts on me to take care of them.  They don't care that I have bills to pay. 

They don't care. 
Period. 
End of story.

So I'm not able to enjoy my holiday with my family because I'm worried.


These two insignificant dandelion puffs are counting on me to provide, and I have let them down.

They have this Christmas, but will I be able to afford to give them Christmas next year?  Will we even have a HOME by this time next year?

So I've gone way out of my comfort zone and taken steps to try to save my job.  Will I actually save it?  Who knows.  But I know that I've tried.

Because, failure to provide for my family and protect my  dandelion puffs is unacceptable.  And a mommy's gotta do what a mommy's gotta do.


4 comments:

  1. Hugs for you Noner. It is not your failure, and I hope that there are some rainbows and blooming dandelions out there for you somewhere.

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  2. Remember that God provides and lay your worries at His feet. I know this is a stressful time of year as it is even without financial issues to top it off.
    Our Christmas is slim this year, but we have talked to the kids a lot this year about the importance of giving over receiving just as Jesus gave for us. They have all drew pictures and things like that that are wrapped under the tree for others.
    Although I only had about $4 to spend on each person this year, I feel fulfilled that it's enough and to be thankful for everything.

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  3. My friend, where there's a will (and you certainly have that!) there's always a way. I know you will find another avenue to support your children. You have not failed, it is not your fault that your corporation has decided to ignore the needs of their employees and focus on their own bottom line. You WILL find another way, because you must. ((HUGS)) and love to you and your children.

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  4. My God, how my heart aches for your worry over providing for your family, my friend! You most certainly have not failed as a mom! Yes, the powers that be at your workplace have failed to keep you in a position to provide for your family but that is their failure, not yours. I pray, and I know, that you will find a way to fill the needs of your wee ones.

    Dandelion Puffs... what a wonderful way to describe children! You know, I believe dandelions to be sprinkles of sunshine. So I am blowing wishes of dandelion dreams your way for your boys.

    ReplyDelete

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