|A view of my back yard.|
I know compared to the troubles other people have mine are trivial, but still, its getting to me in a BIG way.
My son, who has been sick but was all better yesterday, vomited again. That, of course, cancelled my plans for a day out of the house. That was an outing I REALLY needed for mental health reasons.
Instead of going out for a nice lunch with my mother in law and the boys, I spent my hours this morning cleaning, only to have my husband come home and re-do everything I just did and THAT killed two birds with one stone.
First, that is his way of saying my cleaning isn't good enough and second, I essentially wasted 3 hours of my day off doing something that he was going to do when he got home anyway.
So, I'm fighting with my husband and a little annoyed (but trying hard not to be because its not his fault) at the kid for being sick on my day off when he was ALL BETTER yesterday while I was at work. The Labrador is pacing and panting and pacing and panting with his toenails clickclickclickclicking the whole time and I'm about to pull my hair out. So with everyone else in the living room, I fled to my bedroom for peace and solitude.
What does any that have to do with this lovely view of my not so lovely back yard?
No sooner had I lain down and was actually about to doze off (I didn't get much sleep last night) then my husband brings the pacing and panting Labrador into the bedroom and locks him in with me!
I might have thrown a little bit of a temper tantrum at this point. I remember screaming something about not being able to find one moments of peace in my own *insert expletive here* house before going out in the back yard, slamming the door behind me in a very non-adult like fashion.
What can I say, sometimes I just run out of the fuel it takes to be an adult.
Anyway, I spent about an hour sitting in a grungy chair at the side of my house looking out over my back yard and wishing it were more of a sanctuary.
Its not a very pretty yard. It didn't do much to raise my spirits. I went inside with a list of things I'd like to do with the yard, and the realization that we are too freaking broke for me to do any of it.
There were a lot of tears on my part today. I'm having heart palpitations again (the get really bad when I'm stressed), and I bet my blood pressure is through the roof. Not to mention that I'm STILL sick myself. Still coughing 3 weeks after the initial onset of this dang thing.
I'm definitely down in the dumps tonight. I'm feeling all used up.