Thursday, July 11, 2013

Lost My Silver Lining

Today I'm feeling like a very defeated person. 

I'm exhausted, and I'm sore and in a just a couple more hours I have to go back to a job I hate.

I'm sure I hear someone out there saying, "If you have your job so much, just get a new one!"

However, no matter what everyone says, you can't just "get a different job" as easily as you can change underwear.  If you could I would not be at the same job (or wearing holey undies for that matter.)

I'm sitting in my craft room/office which will very soon cease to be. 

In a few short months we will be welcoming a new baby into our house, which the ultrasound nurse assured us is another little boy.  That means that all my stuff must move to other parts of the house, and the office I fought so long and hard for will be gone.

I don't mind giving up my room for my new son, but in reality there is no room anywhere in the house for all of my things to go, which means a major purging of craft supplies.

I supposed that is all well and good though.  I have a lot of craft supplies, and as of late they are not doing anything for me but making more mess.

I've stopped creating because nothing is selling and I'm running out of room to store things.

I had big dreams earlier this year of participating in craft shows, only to realize that there is not a single craft show to be had in this area of the world (except for one GIANT one that is not good for newbies like me).  Since there is an art college in this city I thought there would be tons of indie art shows, but I was wrong. 

I also had big dreams to rent out some space in a solid brick and mortar store to sell my items in, only to find that there is no where around here that does that either.  Maybe if I had some huge antique furniture, because antique malls exist, but there is no where for a simple person to attempt to sell their simple crafts.

I think this city is horrible, becuase places like that (and craft shows too) do exist in other places.  I read about them on the internet all the time.

I remember having so many big plans for my life when I was young.  I was going to escape the hard spot that poverty had put me in.  I was going to BE SOMEBODY.

32 years later I'm starting to think I should just surrender.  I'm on the losing side of this battle. 

(believe it or not, all the the REALLY depressed and pessimistic content was removed from this post before I published it.)

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